Monday, October 2, 2017

An update, and ask for help

I'm not sure how much life this academic blog has left in it, mainly because I find myself hurtling ever further from academic life. But until I figure out what to do with it, here it continues.

Firstly by manner of update, I'm using another blog to track, share and generally use to shout 'Fuck you I'm a Prophet' in various languages from is  here.

And so to life. I had a great summer, Angels in America was on stage, it was glorious and wonderful and I got my passion back for a thing I thought I'd lost. You can find some words on that here .

I finished the job I was in. Somewhat earlier than anticipated, given I thought I had a job until the end of the year. And so I'd be riding a wave of steady, if not fulfilling employment to do other things- to enjoy the Angels ride, to keep plugging away at writing, at contacts, at generally running a 'career' alongside a job. It was good, it was useful and I feel like I made baby steps. When I knew the job was finishing, I made a promise to myself not to panic and take any old job that came along. Sick of bouncing from one job to another, and wary of tying myself to another job for a period of time considered 'reasonable' before quitting, I was cautious.

Alongside this I decided to give myself a month, a month to explore options, to have meetings, and to work on various writing projects that needed attention. Not least the book of the PhD that's been hanging over me and seemed timely now. An update on that is here. And in many ways it has been a useful month. Nothing ever changes overnight and I've poked and prodded and plugged away at things. But of course, nothing ever changes overnight. And now as month one rolls into month two I'm faced with a 'what now?' once again.

In the short term 'what now' has to be some kind of employment. And though I know it's only 'for now' the admin job once again or the Christmas retail job, or at worst temping. I'm kind of sick of 'for now'. Because 'For Now' seems to be something of a permanent state. And I'm tired. This month again also brought up the eternal 'to move or not to move' question, the fear of having to move back to London and the fear of all that entails. The wonder if in staying put I'm trading a comfortable life for a fulfilling career. And knowing deep down that I'll never have the kind of job I want if I stay.

It did take a lot of nerve to give myself a month, and in that month not jump at every or any job that 'would do'. I know in my heart that giving space to some writing, giving a chance to see if some contacts or opportunities bear fruit is worth doing. But it's been hard. Harder still to plow forward with either a retail job or another admin job or temp job. But I'm holding my nerve- I though I had a job until the end of the year, and I would have stayed given the chance. So I'll hold my nerve until then, as long as I manage enough income to get by.

And what then? I know I don't want an 'office' job in the traditional sense. I've tried and I've tried and I just don't fit with it. And breaking free of academia is one thing, selling yourself to others is another.

So I'm here, asking for help from anyone who reads this. Please help me figure out these next steps. I will repay in karma, cupcakes or anything else I can do for you.

Things I can do, and would like advice on making a part of my job:


  1. Teaching. Better with adults than kids but damn good in general. 
  2. Research. 
  3. Writing. 
In theatre I'm a writer and dramatrug but I'm also great at facilitating and education work. But given my detour into academia I have a hard time 'selling' that to job descriptions that want specific experience in a specific role for a number of years. 

Add to that the freelance nature of the industry and the point at which you gamble or give up on that. 

Anyone out there got any advice on using writing, research, dramaturgy and teaching in the arts, yell. Or using those elsewhere.


Hand on heart all I'd really love to do is be a freelance writer. All I've ever wanted is to write. And my academic career was a (albeit misguided) attempt to have that. And so I throw out into the Universe, can anyone help me with the following:


  • Publishers for my research.
  • Freelance writing advice (articles, copywriting etc)
  • Ghostwriting 
  • Advice on jobs where writing is a part of/transferable skill. 
Or finally,  if you were tossing it all in, thinking screw it all, what would you do next? because in all honesty I'm about 2 more knock backs from that point too. There's only so much a person can take, only so many times you can get back up. I'm up for now but not for much longer.