Alright, let’s talk about jobs. I’ve had a flurry of
applications lately, and as these things go, a flurry of rejections. And having
been in this game for a long-ass while now, let’s talk about the good the bad
and the ugly from a candidate’s point of view.
I write this because I’m aware there are some people on the ‘other
side’ of the table who do these things because they have no clue. Job hunting
is alien to them, as they’ve been in their nice little job for so long they’ve
forgotten what it is to be the other side.
1.
Where I live now is none of your business.
I sent in an application and after the closing date got an
email asking if I was ‘aware the job was full time and permanent’ (yes lads I
can read a job description) and could I inform them ‘where I lived currently’ …well
firstly I don’t think that’s your business. Secondly probably googling where I currently
work, which is you know at the top of the list under ‘current employment’ will
give a rough clue…third, it’s none of your business. Having pointed out the job
is full time and permanent, is it not logical I planned to therefore relocate
for it? But of course, the implication was ‘you don’t currently live in London
we won’t give you the job’
I replied with where I live and funny enough didn’t get an
interview.
2.
As above, give decent notice of interviews.
Sending out invite to interview a 5pm on Friday for an
interview on the Monday is not fair. With notice, people can book a day off work
so they don’t have to lie to their current employer (*Cough I’m so sick cough*)
or potentially lose out on money if in an hourly paid job, or re-arrange
freelance work, or arrange childcare…the list goes on. A week’s notice really should
be standard, and fair.
Also, in order to prep for an interview, notice is nice. You
want candidates who are prepared, who have read up on your organisation, have
prepared their thoughts in line with the job spec. We can’t do that on 2 days’
notice.
Factor into this also that people travel. It recently cost
me £70 for a single train ticket because of a late notice interview invite. You
can’t turn it down (though I have in the past) but it feels like throwing money
away.
3.
Consider what you’re testing and how accessible
it is.
I’m pretty sure I lost out on a job last week because of my
dyslexia, and there’s no way to communicate this without sounding like a dick.
The interview ‘test’ was an excel and proofreading exercise, basically my arch nemesis
as a dyslexic. I do both these things day to day in work, and I have never once
been told I am doing my job poorly because of it. But that’s because I have coping
mechanisms, support, and FFS, I have google and spellcheck.
These tests don’t test a potential employee’s ability to do
a job, they test the ability to do a test.
I wanted to cry before I even went into the interview. Retrospectively
I wish I’d just told them there and then how unfair it was.
4.
Be clear on what the job is and what you want. And
write the job description for that.
I’ve applied for so many jobs where by the time I’ve got to
interview the job seems to have morphed into something entirely different from
what’s on the page. I’ve come out of the interview, unearthed my copy of the
job description and searched in vain for the elements that match what I’ve just
been asked about…and nothing. Jobs change while we’re in them for sure, but
really they shouldn’t change that much between writing the description and
interview.
Also, pre-interview, if you want a funding whizz but advertise
for a marketeer, don’t be surprised when you don’t get a maths whizz on paper. Advertise
for the thing you want, it’s not up to applicants to guess.
Also don’t advertise for admin when you want a murder investigator
(yes that happened)
5.
Reject with empathy, hell even kindness.
Mostly we know rejection is coming. Most people job
hunting is of the mentality ‘expect not to get it be surprised if you do’ that
doesn’t mean you can be a dick about it.
Firstly, this means actually sending the rejection. Yes, we
know you’re very busy and important people, but sending a mail merged template ‘thank
you for attending sorry you didn’t get it’ will take 10 minutes of your day. If
we spent hours writing an application and travelling to meet you, then you can
give us 10 minutes of your day (10 minutes if you’re very slow, really it’s
five).
While you’re doing the above, think about how you say it.
Don’t, as one charming theatre company did the other week just say ‘We decided not
to interview you’ with no ‘Dear’ no ‘thank you’ not even a ‘sincerely’. And especially
if you MET us at the interview, at least write a cursory ‘thank you for taking the
time to attend’ we all know it’s bullshit, but it makes us feel like humans,
not numbers.
Think also about when you send it. Basically, any time is
fine, the last thing on Friday is a bit of a killjoy, so send it in the morning if
you can, but rather that that waiting all weekend. Sending it on Sunday night
is Not Cool. I’ve had this happen several times. Now firstly I’m glad not to be
employed by a company that spends its Sunday night sending HR emails, but also
sending job rejections late at night on a Sunday? Dick Move. Either someone’s
quiet Sunday has been now intruded on by a rejection, sending them into a
spiral of self-doubt and disappointment. OR the very first thing they read on Monday
morning is, crushing self-doubt and disappointment. Do everyone a favour, write
that email, save it in drafts, and set a reminder for say, lunchtime on Monday.
That’s the employers. What about if you know someone job
hunting?
I mean pretty similar really.
1.
Don’t send them jobs that are nothing to do with
what they want just because you don’t agree with their career path. If they
want to be a Circus performer, stop sending them accountant jobs. We get it,
you don’t approve and want them to give up and do something sensible.
2.
If you haven’t job hunted in years, and you aren’t
regularly on interview panels/work in HR…don’t dole out job hunting advice.
This particularly applies if you got a job straight out of Uni and never worked
for another company in your life. You have no idea what it’s like. Shut up.
Please.
3.
Don’t brag about your salary. (I mean in general
it’s not classy but bitch please)
4.
Don’t say ‘Oh I can’t IMAGINE having to look for
a job all the time because I’m on a FIXED TERM CONTRACT, imagine CHOOSING that
life’ Bitch we didn’t choose it, and even if we did it’s not your business.
5.
Who say ‘well you have to move to London/start
at the bottom if you’re going to make it you know’ seriously. Get in the bin
and stay there.
Of course, there are and have been many great experiences with
employers and friends supporting. The positive interviews, where it’s been a
great experience and the feedback offered is constructive and useful. The super
accommodating HR teams who book you into/change an interview slot to one late
in the day when they realise you’re travelling for it. People who take time to
give genuine feedback. Companies that tell you when you’ll hear and STICK TO
IT. Panels who treat you like a human.
And friends who cheer you on a commiserate in equal
measure. Who offer sold constructive advice if they have it, or even offer up a
person they know who can. Who offer to proofread but don’t tell you what to
do. And who never ever would tell you to be an accountant instead of joining
the circus.
Of course, I am job hunting and should anyone want to adopt me/have sensible suggestions my CV can be found here
