The current state of affairs there is, one play is paused while I finish another, and the book. After the second draft the producer and I after a lot of discussion decided on an alternative route, which is really all ok, and really brilliant. But needs time and work. So that's what we're giving it.
Elsewhere there's a semi-secret musical project (ok not that secret, just early days and I like a bit of drama)
We're not discussing the book here. Let's just say it's happening. Let's just say there's suddenly more than one book and leave it at that. (and a muffled scream)
But the main focus in recent weeks/months has been 'Don't Send Flowers' my play with Clocktower Theatre. Something I can say has been an utter joy in a sea of angst and real life terribleness. So where are we? what's going on? and what's with all the cake?
All valuable questions. We had an initial read-through which you can read about here
After digging this play out of a drawer, finding someone did want to put it on. Going through the nerve wracking experience of hearing it for the first time I was so relieved and elated that it went well.
And then I went away and re-wrote. Based on feedback, based on what we discussed, and my own mad, mad thoughts. And I over-wrote. I did on redraft, then in a fit of enthusiasm, did another. I was really pleased with a lot of it. But I made it long. Too long.
And so when we had a second read through it was too long. Also there seemed to lose some of that spark I'd felt the last time. Was it me? was it never going to live up to that first time? had I broken the play? I admit when our director cut the read through short for time, I was crushed. It wasn't the intention but in my writer- brain I'd made it so bad we couldn't even get through it. Then when the actors didn't find my new final scene quite as hilarious as the rest of us did I thought I'd really, frankly, fucked it up.
Taking a step back, stopping reading and spending an hour getting actors' thoughts was the right call. And they gave us excellent notes, and a lot to think about. The wonderful thing about this play has been every read through, every meeting people have brought their own stories about things that they relate to in it. That alone was telling me I was onto something. If people were bouncing back with 'this reminds me of...' and often telling me some heartbreaking and hilarious all in one tale, made me certain something was working...just buried fairly deeply.
And so, after picking up my writer's ego, we got together to make a post-it plan for what the play should look like. After which the play looked like this:
It was big and messy and then somehow condensed into a list. With I think 8 scenes with major re-writes and a restructure. It'll be FINE.
And the thing is it was. There's something about this play that once I start working again, I know it, I know them so well by now, that it sucks me in and I can't leave until it's done. It's also a world I'm loving being lost in. I know it sounds a bit narcissistic because I 'made' them, but I really love these characters. They're totally fucked up and sometimes not very nice people. But they're funny, and weird and I do kind of love them. I love bringing them out to play, and seeing what they (ok I) am going to come up with in their weird little minds next. There's a darkness to the humour that people think is strange in real life so it's nice to give that a run around.
Of course following that I had a writers meltdown. I'd broken it again. The new structure didn't work. I'd lost some of the essence of it. But then sitting down with my director and seeing it through someone else's eyes, no Em you haven't. You might be a dark and twisty bitch with a bit of a cake and undertaker obsession. But you haven't broken it, in fact you might have fixed it. And you might just be having a lot of fun in the process.
Amid the fun it's hard. Sometimes, in an oddly satisfying way. There's a lot of personal stuff, some might say personal baggage, I'm pouring into this play. (Like cake it is cheaper than therapy). For as much as it's hard, and will probably be a hard watch when the time comes, there's also a lot of meaning to it. A lot of heart, and I think a lot of emotion. Some of it is really hard to write. It's digging into things that probably are better off buried in the depths of my mind. It's saying things that are uncomfortable, that are really really upsetting sometimes. But all that feels, not to be too worthy, but important. And start some conversations. Maybe.
And there's a lot of chatter about cake.
But I think the emotional core of it (and the cake let's be real) is what makes this a joy, and what drives it. As wanky (that's a great word) and artsy as it sounds, genuinely if one person tells me they were moved by it, that it meant something, it'll have been worth it. And if not, well there's always cake. And perhaps, yes therapy for me after it all too.
The most important thing aside from this has been what a joy it's been. The arts, theatre feels like a battle most of the time. This hasn't. This has felt like a true collaborative, let's make the best thing we can and put it out there process and I have loved it. It feels like this kind of working is what we all do battle for.
The team as well I can't say enough about. Firstly every actor who has read the parts, for being first brilliant, and second giving me insight into my own characters I had missed. From just their reading I learned so much about my own play. From their comments and questions so much more. And in particular actors who let me bug them after the fact for 'But what if?' (No Em, you can't write a scene in Narnia in it...) Alongside them Director Louise (whose name I have to be careful not to mis-spell as Louis one of the characters in the play, she won't thank me for that comparison). Louise has been a ball of energy and enthusiasm from the get go, and much needed for a pessimistic creature like me. Ashley our Assistant Director is such a thoughtful, insightful person, who really has the best interests of the play at heart. And then there's Steve, the artistic director, for supporting this madness (even if he won't let me set fire to a cake).
When I left a meeting yesterday, Louis told me to 'enjoy it' as I went back to re-writes. And she's right, and I intend to. I intend to enjoy the time I have playing with these characters I adore. Writing something I'm passionate about subject wise, and as a project. And I intend to enjoy every moment of working in such a positive way, because that's unfortunately rare.
Oh and I'm also going to enjoy cake. Did I mention there's cake?
So that's where the writing is at. It's so close it's exciting, because next we get to bring it to life. But first I get to make it the best I can. It's like...ok yes it's like baking a cake, and it's just starting to rise in the oven....I just hope it tastes good when it comes out.
No comments:
Post a Comment